A Night at the Movies
by Jade Sabre
Summary: The crew of the Normandy SR-1 takes a break from gallivanting across the galaxy to watch movies.


**Title:** A Night at the Movies  
><strong>Author:<strong> Jade Sabre  
><strong>For:<strong> Tumblr user thechristmasbadger, aka queenofthebadgers, for the 2014 Mass Effect Holiday Gift Exchange

**Notes**: Happy Holidays, Kit! I hope you enjoy. :-)

Also, my deepest, sincerest apologies to Gene Roddenberry and the crew of the _Enterprise_.

* * *

><p>Movie Night. That most hallowed of eves when the <em>Normandy<em>'s crew, at the insistence of Captain Anderson, abandoned their individual tastes and the infinite possibilities of their omni-tools in order to join together in the cargo bay and watch a film of their crewmates' choosing. "For morale, and bonding," Anderson had told his XO, though she'd been too polite to ask outright. "And you can tell a whole hell of a lot about someone based on the movies they like."

They'd only had a few before Eden Prime, but Shepard had decided to keep the practice, in part to ease the transition from Anderson's command to hers, in part because it would've been Jenkins's turn next and she thought watching his choice would be a fitting memorial. That he'd chosen a banal comedy about backwater colony policemen somewhat diminished the solemnity of the occasion, but—he would have liked it, and that made her smile.

And Anderson was right—she _did _learn a lot about her crew. The _Normandy_'s skeleton crew had been selected from some of the Alliance's most seasoned sailors and marines, and their tastes varied wildly; as Shepard added aliens to her crew the movie choices grew in variance, though not always as she would have expected. Liara insisted on showing documentaries, usually about the Protheans; Ensign Lowe introduced her to human mockumentaries, and after the initial confusion died down ("But they didn't _have _tentacles!"), the genre quickly became her favorite. Doctor Chakwas didn't always attend, but she unfailingly appeared in the back row with tissues whenever Tali brought out one of her melodramatic doomed-romance quarian classics. Joker usually joined in via a feed at the helm, sending Shepard snarky comments over the omni-tool about Protheans or complaining about the unrealistic maneuverability of ships in Petty Officer Tanaka's favorite low-budget colony blockbusters.

And then there was Garrus, for instance, who had started out presenting turian classics (all of them serious military dramas, and all of which Wrex heckled from his I'm-not-watching corner), culminating in _Honor at Shanxi_, a surprisingly moving drama from both sides of the siege. Shepard kept an eye on her gunnery chief, who watched the whole thing standing at her station; afterwards, she made an excuse to check everyone's loadouts, in case Ashley wanted to talk. To her surprise the marine went to the Mako, under which Garrus had buried himself, probably to avoid having to talk to the human crew.

"Hey," Ashley said, to no response; she finally kicked one of the boots sticking out from under the Mako, eliciting a crashing noise and the turian equivalent of a yelp.

"Ah," Garrus said when he emerged, rubbing his crest. "Williams?"

"Yeah," Ashley said, crossing her arms, staring down at him. "That movie. Do turians like it?"

"Like it?" he said, sounding surprised. "Well, yeah. I mean, my father thinks it spent too much time on the characters and not enough on the tactical decision-making, and some of the other old guard agree, but several of the generals came out praising its accuracy and it won several awards and—"

"But is that what they think?" she persisted. "I mean, about the garrison commander. The humans who surrendered."

"Well, a good turian would never surrender," Garrus said. "But humans aren't turians, and we were decimating his people. He kept his people alive until reinforcements could come, and you saw—the turians didn't think anyone else was coming. They were more surprised than they would've been if he'd kept fighting like the fleet was coming. Tactically genius, some say. Used our own psychology against us."

"That's not why he did it," Ashley said, and at the cross note in her voice Shepard gave up on pretending to be interested in the lockers.

"Obviously not," Garrus said, with a confused hint of _yes, I was watching too_. "But what he did, he did well. There's no shame in that."

"No shame," she echoed. "That's what the turians think?"

"They liked the movie," he said, and she nodded and abruptly turned away; Shepard hastened to key in the code to Tali's locker, but then Garrus said, "For what it's worth, it's what _I _think."

Ashley stopped at her station, stared at the display that flickered to life in her presence, arms still crossed; and then, over her shoulder, she said, "Thanks, Garrus."

Shepard held her breath, but the gunnery chief didn't say anything else. A few days later, making rounds of the ship, she _did_ think she overheard a heated conversation between the two of them about human superheroes, but it seemed so absurd she put it out of her head until Garrus's next movie night selection of _Batman_ and subsequent trips to the cargo bay featuring a whispered hum of _na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na_.

Yes, Movie Night was definitely a success. Even Wrex, whose ability to snark from the sidelines surpassed Joker's, was eventually coaxed into digging out a krogan film, though Shepard would have been hard-pressed to discuss the plot as the filmmakers had apparently not thought to bring rags to wipe the suspiciously realistic blood off the camera lenses. Sure, she enjoyed some of the movies more than others, and yes, occasionally her crew's choices strayed beyond the realms of what was perhaps appropriate for a commanding officer to be watching with them, but with all the time she spent staring at screens that wanted to kill her or accuse her of lying or just plain not _work_, it was nice to sit back and be entertained by them instead.

And then there was Kaidan.

Movie Night was certainly an excellent opportunity to sit next to him in the dark, casually, of course. And listen to the warm tenor of his laugh, in the most professional manner possible. And discover that, as one of the few born-and-raised Earthers on the ship, his expansive knowledge of classic human cinema was nearly unparalleled. A pity, then, that he'd devoted the majority of it to what some might classify as "bad science fiction," though the term covered a wide spectrum of cinema and the bad science was often quite charming, at least in Shepard's opinion, which may or may not have been slightly colored by Kaidan's enthusiasm for discussing it. Other members of the crew were less impressed.

"No," Joker said, apparently regretting his choice to put in a physical appearance as the stolen Klingon warbird started its slingshot journey around the sun to the past. "No. You can't do that. No. That's not how that works."

"Just hush and enjoy," Kaidan said, comfortably reaching into the pilot's bag of popcorn while Joker was busy scowling at the screen.

"This is the third week in a row you've made us sit through one of these," Joker said. "And the originals? You couldn't've picked the later ones? I mean, the effects would still be awful, but at least—"

"It's a trilogy," Kaidan said around a mouthful of popcorn. "You can't break up the trilogy, and you can't appreciate the remakes until you've seen the original."

"We _could_ be appreciating Blasto."

"You hated the last Blasto," Shepard said from Kaidan's other side, where she was very carefully resting her elbow on the same armrest as her lieutenant.

"Yeah, and I hate this more," Joker said_. _Ashley, sitting a row ahead with the other Marines, turned around and shushed him.

"What I don't understand," Garrus said, as the former crew of the _Enterprise _disembarked on twentieth-century Earth, "is why all the aliens look like humans."

"Cheap special effects," Joker muttered, dodging the hand that Ashley waved in his general direction.

"It's not entirely inaccurate," Liara pointed out from Shepard's other side. "Asari and quarians, for example, both share certain physiological characteristics with—"

"You're missing all the jokes!" Kaidan protested. Shepard nudged his elbow with hers, disrupting his balance and distracting him entirely.

"_Are_ there still humpback whales on Earth?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said, consternation fading into reminiscence. "I remember looking it up right after I saw the movie for the first time. Bugged my parents for _weeks _about contributing to conservation efforts—"

"_Now_ who's missing all the jokes?" Ashley hissed.

"I don't get the jokes," Tali said mournfully.

"The film does seem to require a familiarity with Earth history that I am—"

"Quiet, T'Soni," Wrex grumbled from the shadows. "I want to hear the whales sing."

The startling sound of his voice was enough to quiet the crew, who watched as Spock jumped into a whale tank in order to commune with the animals. "_Definitely_ not possible," said Joker, who could never be quieted for long.

"Actually, that's very similar to what the asari mating meld—" Liara began.

"Like there are any asari who'd let him get close enough to find out," Ashley said.

"_Enough_," Shepard said, in part because Kaidan was frowning at the interruptions and in part because she wasn't sure she'd be able to keep a straight face for much longer. Cowed by their commander as even a krogan could not match, the crew settled back into their seats to watch Chekhov and Uhura search for nuclear wessels ("I _don't get it_," Tali muttered to herself) and Scotty and McCoy potentially alter history, a subplot which Adams seemed to particularly enjoy.

"I hope he's not getting any ideas," Shepard muttered.

"Are you kidding? Scotty is the epitome of a ship's engineer," Kaidan said.

"Next thing I know you're going to be telling me Chakwas could take some pointers from McCoy."

"Just watch the movie," he said, and cowed by her lieutenant as not even rogue SPECTREs could match, she returned her attention to the screen. Mostly. Part of her attention might have chosen to move her elbow ever-so-closer to his, and a bit might have devoted itself to daydreaming about going on a pizza date. But mostly she watched the movie and, as with most Movie Night choices, the longer it went on, the more invested she became. Chekhov and Uhura's capture, though apparently still relying on bits of Earth history she hadn't memorized as well as others, added an urgency she hadn't expected from the apparently farcical premise of the film, and when the whales turned up missing she wanted to echo Wrex's very audible grunt of displeasure.

But the jokes continued—Chakwas had to be shushed after a line about abdominal distension—and even the drama of healing Chekhov lacked...fear, she thought, as the stolen Klingon ship took flight over the ocean ("Twelve minutes to cross the ocean? What even _is_ impulse speed?" was Joker's reaction). Garrus muttered something about the biologist's ability to tell the difference between humans and Vulcans that seemed to include a note of confusion about the general existence of eyebrows; Liara started to volunteer an answer and then voluntarily silenced herself with a gasp as the whaling ship appeared on the horizon. But even that was a temporary threat; and of _course_ they would be able to make it back to the present ("Should have thought of that _before_ using your fake science to go back in time," Joker commented, tossing popcorn at Ashley when she tried to swat him).

And though Wrex growled from the moment the Klingon vessel hit the water until the whales were released, they of course swam away through cleaner waters than the ones they'd left, and without any prompting the crew was quiet as they sang to the destructive probe that had started the whole mess in the first place. She _was_ surprised when the entire crew was rounded up for a court martial—

"Wait," Liara said, "didn't they just save the planet?"

"Weren't you here last week?" Tali said. "They commandeered that ship!"

"Killed a bunch of Klingons, too," Wrex rumbled.

"Of _course_ he likes the Klingons," Joker said, very, very, quietly.

"Sh!" Kaidan said, stealing the last of Joker's popcorn.

—but that too resolved itself, and at the end, as the crew took their places once more aboard the _Enterprise_ she had to admit the sight was a welcome one, even as little acquainted with the franchise as she was. The credits began to roll, Joker discovered he was out of popcorn, and the other members of the crew began to stretch and talk amongst themselves, heading for their stations.

"Maybe you shouldn't have thrown so much of it," Ashley said, brushing bits of popcorn out of her hair.

"This is why I never come down to these things," Joker said. "In the cockpit I have the popcorn all to myself."

"Only if someone brings it to you," Ashley said. "Remind me to stop doing that."

"I'll just get the doc to prescribe me some," Joker said. "Can't deny the cripple his meds, after all."

"That would be an abuse of privilege," Chakwas said as she passed. "A good choice, Lieutenant. Hadn't thought of these in a long, long time."

Kaidan smiled, and Shepard was pleased on his behalf, which lasted until Joker said, "She's crazy. Who's picking next week?"

"Mandira," Tali said. "She asked me for recommendations."

"Great," he said, hobbling to his feet, accepting his crutches from Kaidan. "More chick flicks."

"They're _romances—_"

"Don't bother," Shepard advised. "It's wasted on him."

The pilot sketched a salute with a crutch and went off to complain to no one in particular about the terrible film experience he'd just been subjected to. Shepard shook her head and turned to see Garrus still in his seat, staring at the blank screen. "All right there, Vakarian?"

"They demoted the admiral and then _gave him a ship_," Garrus said. "And that's a...happy ending?"

"It does seem a bit...sneaky," Liara said. "The letter of the law, as opposed to the spirit of it."

"It would never happen in a turian movie," he said, "and yet you humans are cheering for it."

"Well, they're the heroes," Shepard said.

"All they do is undermine authority!" Tali said. "Garrus is right—how can a fleet function if its captains just go wherever they want whenever they want?"

"I'm not saying Kirk was _wrong_," Garrus said. "I'm just amazed."

"He might have been right, but still—the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."

"Weren't you paying attention to Spock's character arc?" Kaidan asked. "Sometimes humans choose the few. Or the one."

"Yes, but at the risk of intragalactic war?" Tali shook her head awkwardly, a gesture she had apparently picked up from the rest of the crew and was still practicing. "I don't think I like Captain Kirk very much."

"I don't like how he always has a girlfriend," Ashley said. "He's kind of full of himself."

"He's a hero," Garrus said.

"So's the Commander," Ashley said, unperturbed, "but you don't see _her_ acting so recklessly."

"Thanks," Shepard said, "but—" She hesitated, but the others looked at her expectantly, and so she said, "I do empathize with his desire to take care of his crew. I'd...you know. A crew is a captain's responsibility. It's his—her—job to protect them."

"You also have to let them do their jobs," Ashley said. "And while I'd appreciate the gesture, Commander, I'd rather you not start a Second Contact War trying to save one of us."

"Duly noted, Chief," she said.

"You could just pull the SPECTRE card," Garrus said.

"Also noted," she said.

"I still don't like him," Tali said.

"I find all the characters to be...fascinating," Liara said. "Each drawn around a particular trait, and yet fully realized. A study in humanity, by humans."

"Humans," Garrus said, "are apparently crazy."

"You like it," Ashley said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a sleeper pod on deck two."

The others slowly drifted off, leaving Shepard and a few ensigns with extra duty to disassemble the setup and return the cargo bay to its normal functionality. Kaidan stayed along to help without saying a word; there was something comforting about the ease of their silent rapport, so useful on the battlefield and yet a luxury in their quieter moments. Even when they accidentally bumped into each other carrying chairs it was—funny, instead of embarrassing, an exchange of slightly chagrined half-smiles and good humor, and all-too-soon the ensigns were released and she had to face the reality that reports were waiting for her signature in her quarters.

"Bedtime?" Kaidan asked as she stretched.

"Eventually," she said, but she fell into step alongside him towards the elevator. "A commander's work is never over."

He laughed a little; the elevator door closed and he said, with barely concealed eagerness, "So, what did you think of the movie?"

"I liked it," she said, automatically and with more truth than she would have thought when the movie started. "It was ridiculous, but...I think I liked it."

"It is ridiculous," he said, leaning back against the wall. "It didn't seem that way when I first saw it, but now—time travel? For _whales_?" He laughed, and she basked in the warmth of the sound. "I mean, I've seen some ridiculous things since then, but that's hard to top."

"But I liked it!" she said. "Overbearing themes of saving the environment aside. I never really got those when I watched movies as a kid."

He laughed again. "Yeah, space stations tend not to have too many trees. I remember missing them during biotic training. They had some, but they were all small, scraggly oxygen-scrubbers." The elevator door slid open, and they exited together, and if the opening wasn't quite small enough to justify that her arm brushed his, well, perhaps she'd just been afraid the door was already closing again. "You really liked it?"

"I really did," she said, ambling next to him as he went to his station and she went to her room. "I never..." She paused as he booted up whatever display he pretended to look at during their conversations, waited until he looked back to her, and finished, "Had the sense that things would end badly."

"No," he said. "The stakes are high, but you know it's all going to be okay."

"Exactly," she said.

He nodded. "That's because it's the _Enterprise_ crew."

"I don't know much about the _Enterprise_," she said.

"There's a whole show," he said. "Several, actually. You should watch them."

"I wouldn't know where to start," she said.

"I could show you," he said, and she saw a blush starting to creep on his cheeks, wished she could accept the offer with a kiss.

"One day," she said. "When we have time for more than just Movie Night. When whales are all that need saving."

"We'll stop Saren and the geth," he said in that serious, convicted tone that made her feel like her feet weren't quite touching the deck. "You heard Ash. We're good at our jobs and you're good at commanding."

"I try," she said with a wry half-smile. "I still wish it was just whales."

"Well," he said after a moment's pause, "at least we have Joker for comic relief."

"You said it, not me," she said. "If you wake up with popcorn in your sleeper pod, it's not my fault."

"As long as you'd be laughing," he said, and then he seemed to realize what he'd said, and as he ducked his head she received a lovely view of his reddening neck. "Ma'am."

"Lieutenant," she said, not quite able to hide the teasing note in her voice. "I think I'll retire."

"Ma'am," he said again.

"Kaidan?" He finally met her eyes again, and she smiled and said, "Thanks for the movie."

"Any time," he said, smiling back.

She lingered a moment more, then slipped into her quarters, leaning back against the closed doors and blowing out a breath. She envied Kirk and his friends their assurance that the day would end in their favor, if not the absurdity of their circumstances; but all told, she preferred the lines of the _Normandy_, and the quirks and strengths of _her_ crew. Sure, the missions were dangerous and stressful, their outcome uncertain, and yet...when she thought about the people under her command, she'd have to say, if asked, that really she felt...fine. Better than fine; somewhere between the aliens and the exploration and the simple comforts of watching a movie with friends, she felt like she was _home_.


End file.
